It's almost the freakin' weekend, baby, so say "work shmork" and revel in our choices for the best adorable, happy-making videos of the week:
Bulldog Puppy Hurts Us With Cuteness
Adorability factor (scale of 1 to 10): 9. If it were just a bulldog puppy awkwardly and joyously rolling down a hill, it would be around a seven. But he's a bulldog puppy wearing a hoodie. Truly, the cuteness is painful!
Happy-making factor: 8. If your heart doesn't burst open with sunshine and rainbows while watching puppies do cute puppy things, well . . . we don't want to be your friend.
Science is Sweet: Physicists Break Out the Bubbly — the Big Bang is Real!
Adorability factor: 7. Scientists blissing out on nerdy science stuff is cute to the nth degree.
Happy-making factor: 10. A rare 10! Why? Because in addition to the awesomeness of the Champagne toasting and general nerdiness, this reminds us that we now know the Big Bang was real! And science advancements make us even happier than cute little puppies.
Watch: The Most NSFW Video You'll see All Day
Adorability factor: 4. Unless you think massive unexpected schlongs are "adorable."
Happy-making factor: 8. Hilarious news gaffes always deliver the goods, and this really delivers the goods. If you catch our drift...
Is There Anything Christopher Walken Can't Do? Dance Mash-Up Proves No.
Adorability factor: 8. Christopher Walken is adorable in the way your favorite weird uncle is. Dancing is also adorable. Therefore, adorableness abounds.
Happy-making factor: 8. "Everybody Dance Now" would make even Werner Herzog (see below) crack a slight grin, and it's hard to watch Walken spin, shimmy and boogie, and not want to join the joyous fun. It's Friday! Everybody dance now!
For the Depressive Nihilist in All of Us: Werner Herzog on the "Overwhelming" Misery of the Jungle
Adorability factor: 2. Maybe it's just the strangely tender voice, but there is something weirdly cute about German director Werner Herzog. But just a little. Mostly he's a huge downer.
Happy-making factor: -10. We just realized all of these joyful viral video round-ups are nothing but a distraction preventing us from accepting the cold, dark truth of reality. Who cares about rolling puppies? Who cares about Christopher Walken shaking his tailfeather? The world is filled with hatred and violence and destruction and chaos, and we must endure them all on our inexorable march to a slow and painful death.
"Happy" Friday, suckers.
